Not Really

I'm not doing anything at all,
Just hanging here wondering,
Should I really wait for something so unsure?
Its a crazy question, but who cares?
All i know is that you weren't even there...

I sat outside your gate on that stormy night,
I was drowning in the rain and misery and fright,
I called you again and again, hoping you might...you know.
Oh, I was still trying to understand,
Why you didn't come at the coffee shop,
I said maybe you thought I wouldn't brave the rain.
Or maybe you misunderstood that two o'clock was ten..
Or something else happened...
But you never answered your phone,
And your house was empty,
So I walked back home on my own....

The headlights found me before i had time to blink,
And then all was out.
The headache i woke up to seriously stink,
And I stirred up and about.
Then his worried voice bade me to conciousness,
Well, he wasn't you so i was disappointed,
I stared around his car,
The storm was still raging outside
even louder than it was few minutes ago,
His name was Knight without a shining armor,
but he was cute and all that though,
So we talked as he drove me home,
He was smart, charming; he was dope,
We got along just fine, in music, hobbies and NBA teams,
Every second gets better as it seems,
But he wasn't you...so.

He heard my stomache scream,
And despite my pleading he pulled to a stop,
We wolfed down a Big mac, Large fries, Large coke,
I was laughing my ass off at his knock knock joke,
But then I saw your face from the mirror,
and i nearly choked...
Before Knight had a chance to ask if i was okay,
You spotted us and entered through the doorway,
Your looked at me accusingly, like-who's he?
but i raised my brows-what're you doing with Shirly?
I thought the situation couldn't possibly diffuse,
But then Knight called your name, and then what the-?
He introduced himself as your cousin from South California...

The anecdote left me chuckling even when we got back in the car,
He looked at me, amused and asked- Why are you smiling,
I said nothing, then I laughed...
As he walked me to our front door,
he was still asking what my laughter was for...
I said nothing, so he gave up.
And threw at me the next question...

"Can i see you tomorrow?"

I wanted to jump up and down,
giggling, shouting yes at the top of my Lungs,
Funny how i thought of you suddenly,
And how for three years I loved you desperately,
How you turned me down so many times,
How many buckets of tears you made me cry,
How stupidly i swallowed every single lie,
With everything I've been through,
I should hate all males on planet earth,
But Knight isn't you.

I'm not doing anything at all,
Just hanging here wondering,
What dress should i were in my date with Knight later?
Its a crazy question, but who cares?
All i know is that I should've realized long before
That you were never there.